I would like to preface this review by saying: no, I did not read this book voluntarily. In fact, it was my loving sister who kindly placed her limited edition hardcover copy before my ten year-old self and encouraged me to give the fantasy genre a go. Despite this traumatic experience, I did eventually grow to enjoy (or at least tolerate, in some cases) fantasy novels. It’s just a shame that the same cannot be said for this particular one.
Where do I begin? Well, let’s just say that if SJM spent as much time on plot as she did describing certain parts of one’s anatomy, we might actually have a coherent storyline here. But unfortunately not. ACOTAR is your typical Beauty and the Beast retelling. A furry faerie, sorry, breaks into a poor human girl’s house with some flimsy excuse to kidnap and trap her inside his dusty mansion. Protagonist with the personality of cardboard + the epitome of toxic masculinity = peak romance, apparently.
For anyone that is still thinking of reading this book...don’t. To sum it up, the first 60-ish% of the novel consists of a romance (supposedly) that has little development and even less chemistry between the leads - to put it simply, I was more invested in their relationship before they met each other. The latter 40% felt like a fever dream, mostly because the already nonsensical storyline started making even less sense. It also didn’t help that the protagonist was drugged and confused half the time. Given that the story was written in first person, I suspect it was a ploy by SJM to hide the lack of plot, and for that I applaud her because it might have been the smartest decision she made in writing this book.
On some days, I could forgive a sub-mediocre plot if the characterisation was at least half-decent. Sadly, the day I read ACOTAR was not one of those days; nor was the characterisation remotely near half-decent, as I was disappointed to find throughout the course of this tumultuous experience. Feyre, our typical YA Main Character, grew up with nothing - no money, no mother, no sense of self-preservation nor sound decision-making skills of any sort. As soon as she was whisked off into the dangerous fairy lands she decided she would make it her personal mission to do the exact opposite of what she was told.
That’s where our love interest, Tamlin, comes in, along with his trusty sassy sidekick Lucien (with whom Feyre arguably has better chemistry, if you ask me). Tamlin is blond and has a mask stuck to his face. Fine. He’s also got a habit of biting Feyre while high (why is half the cast intoxicated in this story? Is this Victorious?) which is not so fine. Sometimes he does nice things, like send jewels and money to Feyre’s family of ingrates. Other times he does less nice things. I’d prefer not to give specific examples, so we’ll leave it at that: Tamlin is complicated, and in serious need of anger-management counselling.
Now let me introduce you to the most underwhelming villain of the century, Amarantha. For the first half of the novel her name is whispered everywhere, we learn that the fairy lands live in fear of her, she’s super powerful and dark and dangerous... and then when she finally appears she just gives Feyre a few chores and a stupid riddle to solve. That’s about all that she does. And I have nothing more to say about her, because frankly, her contributions to the novel as a whole were quite limited.
However, there is a LOT that needs to be addressed about the other villain (and for some reason, fan favourite) of the novel, who shows up randomly to cause trouble and act predatory around Feyre. Yes, I am aware (spoiler alert) that he later becomes her love interest in one of the most questionable, convoluted arcs I’ve ever witnessed. Thankfully, he does not play that role in this novel, so we’re all spared from a potential thesis picking his less than delightful character apart. If you’re really curious, search up Rhysand.
My overall thoughts of the book? Pacing was slow, especially at the start. I will admit the world-building wasn’t too bad. The book could have done with a lot less words - I’m sure we all know which scenes SJM would have benefitted from excluding. I’ve already wasted enough time reviewing this book so that just about concludes it for today. If you’re still convinced you want to read it, go ahead. Now that your expectations have been sufficiently lowered, who knows, you might even enjoy it.
(FTR: I rate this book five stars. One star for each year I’ve had recurring nightmares about it.)