A Court of Mess and Furries

By Chung Yu Kwok

Here we are again for round two. To the member of the chemistry department that recommended this lovely novel on the window for all the kids to see, I’m not judging (okay maybe I am, a little). This may well be one of the most infamous pieces of literature in the world of young adult fiction, featuring an equally infamous Chapter 55 that, for the sake of my health and yours, I shan’t elaborate on. If I say any more than this, Masha will censor me again - what happened to my right to free speech?

Whatever the case, there is one person that should have their free speech rights revoked and that is Sarah J. Maas. Unfortunately the story we’re about to deep dive into is arguably one of, if not her best - the bar is in hell. To provide some context and a bit of recap from the first dumpster fire: MC Feyre solved a riddle (the answer was love, of course) but died but came back to life as a fairy, Amanda (?) the big bad got killed, and everyone went home. Oh, and Feyre made a deal with the 500-year-old super powerful dark lord batman creep called Rhysand that now requires her to swing by his house for a week every month, because how else is a guy meant to get a girl? What a romantic.

Let’s set the scene. Feyre lives in Tamlin’s great big mansion and is his soon-to-be wife. The patriarchy that dictator High Lord Tamlin refuses to abolish (despite how much he claims to hate it) determines that she shall live the rest of her existence sitting quietly beside him because whenever she voices her opinion, he has a habit of punching walls or blowing things up around her - or whatever other aggressions alpha males exhibit in their habitat. The ginger sidekick Lucien also sits quietly beside Tamlin. Everyone sits quietly beside Tamlin except for Ianthe, a priestess and serial sex offender who puffs Feyre up in huge dresses for her wedding. But then disaster strikes on the merry day - it’s Rhysand! He’s come back after a bit of radio silence to rescue his girl from the (literal) paws of TamTam.

Fast forward. Feyre visits Rhyses Pieces and he teaches her to read and use her superpowers. Tamlin becomes overprotective (excuse SJM, she had to find a way to make him evil to justify her sudden hatred for blond men) and ends up locking Feyre in his house. Feyre, the poor thing, is understandably traumatised and depressed. When she has a panic attack, Rhys sends Mor, a member of his Power Rangers gang, to go save her. She moves in with him and ghosts Tamlin - who is now irrelevant, so bye bye and good riddance to him. War with Hybern (bad guys) is brewing and Feyre has to save the world again, because these immortal, overpowered fairies with superiority complexes can’t do it themselves and need a human to team carry. And thus begins Feyre’s epic hero training montage - and Rhysand’s dreaded redemption arc.

That just about summarises the entirety of the story. Are you bamboozled yet? Now we get to the real meat of this review - Rhysand, the dark-haired love interest. In case you haven’t noticed, I have a bone to pick with this guy. For the sake of concision I won’t list all the heinous crimes he has committed, but the common denominator is a lack of consent. This abominable creature, although responsible for quite a slice of Feyre’s traumatic experiences, somehow becomes her one true love, and that’s not even an exaggeration because (spoiler alert) he turns out to be her MATE. So he did a few bad things, but it was for her own good! Besides, he’s rich, he has these mesmerising purple (or blue, Sarah couldn’t decide) eyes and he’s her soulmate for life which comes to define both their relationship and their respective personalities. Feyre just said whatever and ran with it.

To all the readers who adore villain love interests, I beg you not to view this piece of work as a candidate for your affections. Rhysand realised Feyre wasn’t into his bad boy gimmick so he switched up and it worked, somehow. Never forget that this man once licked her while she was locked up under a mountain, and they weren’t even in the talking stage yet. At the end of the day, no matter how sad his backstory is, he’s just weird. Nothing can change that.

I just remembered there are other characters in this story too, but they’re only really there to fill the diversity quota of more Caucasians with various hair/eye colour combinations. Moving on.

In conclusion: the word “snarl” is used 52 times, “growl” is used 25 times, and “purr” is used 23 times. Additionally, the word “mate” is used 107 times. I did my best not to include furry jokes this time but it’s difficult when I see something like this every two sentences. This book is worth reading for many reasons so I do encourage everyone to give it a go. The plot and the word count do drag a bit but the writing is decent and the characters powerfully evoke emotions such as disgust and confusion. 10/10, would recommend. A work of modern art.